Welcome back my Boss Babes.
I haven’t been active in a long long while and I have realized why; I’m not a very public person with my life. I noticed my blog take a turn for what I didn’t want it to become; fake. I don’t want to sit here and pretend as though I have a perfect life or that succeeding in only what I write about it the ultimate survival guide to perfection…it’s not. I can’t promise to be as active on my blog as I used to be but I can promise to give updates along the way.
So, here is me dishing out anything and everything. `
Life is extremely complex so I’m noticing…but that doesn’t make life miserable. I think my current state of mind is ‘as long as I’m surrounded by what I love and those I love, I will be a loving person all around’ (even to myself). Devoting time to the close people in your life is something I’ve come to realize is most important. Surely, being around someone too long, you pick up on tendencies and may or may not get annoyed however, that makes them who they are and I’m sure they feel the same about you at times. It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean the love is any less.
Friendships to me have recently been defined as having platonic soulmates. If it is true, that person will always be there no matter the cost. No matter the little arguments, no matter the sacrifices. Choices have really defined friendships for me as well. Forgiveness and Acceptance. Being grateful to have those little conversations filled with funny jokes or those moments of vulnerability where actively listening and responding, have a great deal in keeping the connections.
Trying to achieve balancing multiple little groups of friends has been my most difficult challenge lately, and somehow I manage to make it work even if it stresses me at times. Not everyone I’m friends with are friends with each other and slowly but surely I’m trying to mesh here and there. (Not just for my sake, because it 100% makes my life a little more manageable…but because I know some of these friends would connect with each other in different ways). Being only one person, spreading out my time with people hasn’t been the easiest.
This then transitions into building an actual relationship with a companion. With someone I may see myself completely with and this may be too soon to mention but writing this I’m seeing how much I’m just enjoying the time with someone. No labels, but the labels aren’t necessary when we both just know. It’s a pure feeling that doesn’t need defined for anyone else but the two involved and I find that so comforting.
I’ve noticed my perspective on love and lust take a full 180. I used to be so stressed on the “do you really want me?” , “is this building somewhere that will last?”… You can’t promise forever with someone but you can promise for now. You can promise that if you want this bad enough, things won’t even come into question especially about trust and ‘loyalty’. You can make promises without words, that this is just right where you’re meant to be.
Spending time with the people they are close with is highly valued as well. It takes a lot to balance ones own friendships but being able to incorporate the ones’ of the person who has most of your interest, is important as well. Time is valuable, and being able to equally share that time with those closest to you is all that really matters.
Since this is so very new, I won’t be spending too much time on that topic but I found the simplicity in that extremely important.
Having space is important too. Knowing when you require ‘me time’ is the most important aspect of your life. I’m not sure if it’s because of ‘only child syndrome’ (another topic for another day) but I really love my alone time. I love my solitude to the point where I can just paint my nails (and then paint them again if I don’t like the color), I can cook/meal prep while playing the best of One Direction… the list is endless. Sure, I can share these moments with a companion or friends in my life but if there is one solid thing I discovered early on in life; you are your own best friend.
I’m realizing the amount of things I’m doing in my life and it’s so much more than I can imagine. I’m loving every minute of my life and things can only get better from here. Taking on a different course in life has opened up a new and fresh perspective. Becoming more of an outgoing-social person and joining clubs and organizations has helped me tremendously by building connections with people; building on current friends and making new as well.
I try to humble myself always, but I’m also learning that bragging and being proud of yourself are two very polar opposites. It’s no secret, I am not perfect, my life has never been perfect. Even in the happy-fun person I show, I have my moments of doubt, my moments of weakness and my moments of pure ‘I just want to be lazy’…but by not allowing those negative thought take over each and every day, I am opening up so many more beautiful opportunities for myself…to be a great friend, to be a great love, to be a great version of my most authentic self.