Boss Babe: Balancing Friendships, Relationships, and Yourself (along with Everything Else)

Welcome back my Boss Babes.

I haven’t been active in a long long while and I have realized why; I’m not a very public person with my life. I noticed my blog take a turn for what I didn’t want it to become; fake. I don’t want to sit here and pretend as though I have a perfect life or that succeeding in only what I write about it the ultimate survival guide to perfection…it’s not. I can’t promise to be as active on my blog as I used to be but I can promise to give updates along the way.

So, here is me dishing out anything and everything. `

Life is extremely complex so I’m noticing…but that doesn’t make life miserable. I think my current state of mind is ‘as long as I’m surrounded by what I love and those I love, I will be a loving person all around’ (even to myself). Devoting time to the close people in your life is something I’ve come to realize is most important. Surely, being around someone too long, you pick up on tendencies and may or may not get annoyed however, that makes them who they are and I’m sure they feel the same about you at times. It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean the love is any less.

Friendships to me have recently been defined as having platonic soulmates. If it is true, that person will always be there no matter the cost. No matter the little arguments, no matter the sacrifices. Choices have really defined friendships for me as well. Forgiveness and Acceptance. Being grateful to have those little conversations filled with funny jokes or those moments of vulnerability where actively listening and responding, have a great deal in keeping the connections.

Trying to achieve balancing multiple little groups of friends has been my most difficult challenge lately, and somehow I manage to make it work even if it stresses me at times. Not everyone I’m friends with are friends with each other and slowly but surely I’m trying to mesh here and there. (Not just for my sake, because it 100% makes my life a little more manageable…but because I know some of these friends would connect with each other in different ways). Being only one person, spreading out my time with people hasn’t been the easiest.

This then transitions into building an actual relationship with a companion. With someone I may see myself completely with and this may be too soon to mention but writing this I’m seeing how much I’m just enjoying the time with someone. No labels, but the labels aren’t necessary when we both just know. It’s a pure feeling that doesn’t need defined for anyone else but the two involved and I find that so comforting.

I’ve noticed my perspective on love and lust take a full 180. I used to be so stressed on the “do you really want me?” , “is this building somewhere that will last?”You can’t promise forever with someone but you can promise for now. You can promise that if you want this bad enough, things won’t even come into question especially about trust and ‘loyalty’. You can make promises without words, that this is just right where you’re meant to be.

Spending time with the people they are close with is highly valued as well. It takes a lot to balance ones own friendships but being able to incorporate the ones’ of the person who has most of your interest, is important as well. Time is valuable, and being able to equally share that time with those closest to you is all that really matters.

Since this is so very new, I won’t be spending too much time on that topic but I found the simplicity in that extremely important.

Having space is important too. Knowing when you require ‘me time’ is the most important aspect of your life. I’m not sure if it’s because of ‘only child syndrome’ (another topic for another day) but I really love my alone time. I love my solitude to the point where I can just paint my nails (and then paint them again if I don’t like the color), I can cook/meal prep while playing the best of One Direction… the list is endless. Sure, I can share these moments with a companion or friends in my life but if there is one solid thing I discovered early on in life; you are your own best friend.

I’m realizing the amount of things I’m doing in my life and it’s so much more than I can imagine. I’m loving every minute of my life and things can only get better from here. Taking on a different course in life has opened up a new and fresh perspective. Becoming more of an outgoing-social person and joining clubs and organizations has helped me tremendously by building connections with people; building on current friends and making new as well.

I try to humble myself always, but I’m also learning that bragging and being proud of yourself are two very polar opposites. It’s no secret, I am not perfect, my life has never been perfect. Even in the happy-fun person I show, I have my moments of doubt, my moments of weakness and my moments of pure ‘I just want to be lazy’…but by not allowing those negative thought take over each and every day, I am opening up so many more beautiful opportunities for myself…to be a great friend, to be a great love, to be a great version of my most authentic self.

The Reality of (My) Life

To be honest with myself, I need to not lie to myself (or this audience). Sure my life is ‘great’ (as great as it could be for the time… I’m very thankful); I’m not binge eating the way I was, I meal prep, I have a job, the people I’m surrounded by are incredible, I joined a club…but I’m noticing that I’m lagging.

I lag in applying myself everyday and I miss it. I miss the feeling of being proud to complete things and I need to start attacking this right now (while I’m self-aware). It’s difficult to understand the workings of my mind but, for me it’s as simple as saying “I’m lazy.” And I know when I am…my room is currently a mess and my mind is just as unorganized.

Do you ever just know how badass you are but then fall into a pit of self-doubt? A self-absorbed feeling..slowly, sinking, yet you’re doing everything you can to keep your head above water? I still show up for work, for class, for events…but I mentally check myself out once I’m in the comfort of my tiny space of an apartment.

This is the reality of my life.

I can sit here and blanket these thoughts, or that I “contemplated writing this because of the negative attention” (which, tbh I didn’t).

I’ve become so comfortable with this online journal of mine that

if I’m not totally honest,

what would be the point of having a blog?

I won’t sit here and tell you my life has been perfect since the changes I’ve made, but I can tell you I’ve progressed immensely. I can tell you that the little things I do for myself truly have a huge impact. I can tell you that sometimes it’s more than an “off day”…maybe it’s a few, or even a week.

This is why I needed to stop my series, because I can’t put on a front and act in la la land.

My life is too precious to be faked like that.

I can’t be the only one that understand this.

(We need to stop this trend of being okay with putting only the great things about our lives online and share those other miscellaneous, odd times. It doesn’t mean you’re auto labeled depressed or have a shit life… it makes you human.)

If we [a society] choose to live our lives online,

why wouldn’t you want to project your most truly authentic, honest self?

It takes more than a mantra or just a simple task. You really need to want your life badly enough to go after what you want. That’s still a learning process for me, and I accept that. However, I can sit here and accept it but it won’t change anything.

Failure is not an option.

Mental Health Topic

In order to gain more knowledge, I need to allow time to run it’s course. With that said, this will be my final post in this series for awhile. Starting this blog by myself, I was surprised that in just a few months, my views have grown and I’m finishing the year 2019 with 538! So I wanted to take the time to thank you for the love & support.

Balancing your entire life isn’t meant to be easy or simple. Life is difficult, stressful, and tiring. But, life is extremely beautiful, colorful, incredible, and if enough effort is applied, life will be successful. It’s not an outlook thing, it’s facts. Life is everything.

Maintaining your physical and mental self is very important. You’ll come to understand your own needs to keep your head above water.

Your life should reflect yourself; your endless possibilities, your successes, your failures, your greatness. Don’t shelter that.

I have begun to realize that it’s me, myself, and I in this life. Everything else can be either a positive or negative accessory, depending on choices. Think of it like adding charms to a bracelet. Each one uniquely made and designed for you, to benefit you.

It takes structure, being consistent, and great focus.

Be your own #1 biggest fan.

I feel like I could definitely add onto this however, your life is your life.

Take 100% control of it for your best interest.

Happy World Mental Health Day!

Boss Babe: Enjoy Your ‘Off Days’

It’s true, no one is perfect.

Even the most organized, most motivated people have their ‘off days’. Mine just so happened to be right after an intense weekend, Monday morning at 7:30 am (even though we had a 4 day week). I told myself, it’s just another day you can handle it… but s l e e p …. I’ll shoot a quick email to my professors and my boss and head back to bed. And so I did. I waited for the ‘okay’ replies and slept until about noon. Woke up, got myself together, made some lunch and immediately jumped on my assignments.

C’est la vie..Life happens.

We are meant to take breaks in life, sometimes they are a minor setback, while other times, absolutely necessary. Yes I’ll admit, I got a little lazy, causing me to cancel plans with a friend in that upcoming weekend so I could focus on priorities. That’s what happens and that’s the truth.

Looking back, I’m happy I chose the decision I did because it gave me a lot of time to ‘isolate’ myself to get sh*t done!

When you become self-aware you inevitably realize what you need to do to be successful.

I was actually glad to enjoy some time by myself though, it works out in many ways of getting more accomplished than what you had originally planned.

After I finished my assignments, I ended up finding recipes for meal planning (I got lazy with my ‘healthy lifestyle’ choices and needed to get back into it). I have 4 different dinners to last for each week in October which, saves me money & perfectly proportions my eating habits.

Sometimes a “day off” becomes a time for realization and planning. Like a restart button. Enjoy that.

Thursday will be my last post (for now) in this series: Balancing it All.

Boss Babe: Make That Money

Making Money Moves (according to urban dictionary), is used to describe a badass individual who works really hard to make moves in order to elevate their financial success, fame and or status.

I honestly (hate to say it), use this term loosely as a mantra LOL. More or less in a sense of, I know what I want and I’m going to go after it regardless of life challenges.

Alexa (which I don’t have), play 7 Rings by Ariana Grande

I see it, I like it, I want it, I’ll (eventually) get it.

It’s a process and starting small is okay! I didn’t think I would be working while in college but here I am; it’s truly a blessing to even work in a department for my school (the hours are extremely flexible with classes). However, even without the offer from my school, I would have (un-shamefully) checked a job listing for places like Walmart (or other retail stores).

The process isn’t supposed to be easy but I say this over and over; you have to want things bad enough to accept that a successful life comes with difficulties.

The point I’m trying to make is, you have to start early in the game. Sure, going to college is great for furthering education, etc. However, having a job on top of that, gives you more life skills and the capability to balance both (plus, a paycheck is extremely great to have). Which ties in with time management and organization.

Now, onto some real talk; Saving Money. Sure, you’ll feel like the rich b*tch you are but do you really need that new outfit? (sometimes, it’s okay to treat yourself). I had to rebuild my wardrobe after losing some weight so yes, for me that was necessary however, that doesn’t mean each paycheck I need to spend every single penny. I have plans for Christmas vacation with my family, I don’t have a car, saving for my college loans, and my best friend and I want to move in together.

It’s important to build this now, your future self will thank you. So start by giving yourself an allowance, if you have enough self control you won’t need to restrict yourself to a savings account (although, I highly recommend). Just because it’s available, does not mean you should spend.

Start remembering that memories are more important to make rather than materialistic items; there are plenty of free, or cheap things to do in life by yourself or with others. It is key to understand that if you want that huge house with a gorgeous front yard (or whatever your dreams may be) you need to go out and get that job, it’s okay to start small but start thinking of the bigger picture. If you want that C.E.O position, go for it! All it takes is building to get there.

Next Tuesday: Enjoying Your ‘Off Days’.

Boss Babe: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a WOMAN healthy, wealthy, and wise

Fixing your sleep pattern is tough, I get it. However, quit making excuses and just do it!

I remember the nights of staying up until 3am wasting away with my thoughts. Waking up around noon (in actuality 2pm) the next day. I felt tired, gross, and rushed.

I had wasted a day of my precious life, a day that I didn’t mean to make lazy (not needed for my mental health). (No, it’s not that serious but it’s a great way of reasoning).

In theory, I thought; why keep putting stress on myself? This is my life, I decide where I want to lead. So I began with no eating past 6pm (went along with my healthy lifestyle progress), getting to bed by 9pm (being asleep at least by 10pm), and waking up for daily walks around 6am.

Becoming a ‘morning person’ wasn’t my goal, it was the idea of using my days and my time wisely. Personally, I’m a night owl but with school, work, balancing friendships, and my ‘me time’, wasted days became an issue.

Having that morning time be my ‘me time’ for watching the news, having breakfast, getting a tiny workout in, etc. It wasn’t easy switching my body to this schedule but somehow, I made it work.

Time is one of the best parts about life; but when we feel rushed, we don’t enjoy every moment, we feel like we are unable to accomplish great things.

The reactions I get from telling my friends that I start my days around 5am are quite funny to me. “I could never”, “you’re out of your mind”, “how do you function?”

It’s simple; get to sleep early you’ll end up feeling refreshed and ready to start your day. I have since realized that if it hits a certain hour in the night and I still need to complete an assignment, it’s best for me to get some sleep and wake up early rather than push myself into those late hours.

This leads into my next topic: Making Money. Everything is a butterfly effect, once you start preparing now it will lead you to an extremely successful life (or so, I’m noticing).

Boss Babe: Organize Yourself

Time Management & Organization

I have always taken pleasure in writing something down and crossing it off once completed. Sure, I could write what I need to do in an online planner or my notes in my phone, but going along with my ‘goals’, having things written out is visually pleasing to see how much I am able to accomplish; I can turn back the pages of the past month and review how much effort was applied.

This planner holds my entire life; important dates, plans, homework, office work, errands I need to run. If there is anything to know about my life, it would be in this trusty little notebook.

As you can see, I consider myself “messy but organized”. Take a bedroom for example; walking through someone else’s room and seeing things scattered here and there, you ask the person “do you have (an object) that I could borrow?” You see them scan the room, ponder, and immediately find the thing you wanted. That is my planner, “messy but organized“.

Having a planner goes hand in hand with time management. This is a HUGE connection to being successful.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “this is self-explanatory, this is common-sense, why even bring this up?” To answer that: common-sense isn’t so common. You have to apply yourself in every aspect, even in the little, most common, most over-looked details.

I’m a very visual person, in order to make change (or get things completed..on time) I need to see how to schedule it. I bought a $5 giant calendar to pin on my wall, (as well as writing in my planner..keeping dates organized in all places) month by month I write each important date down, using stickers or small doodles to make it stand out.

I also, take advantage of class syllabus’; all important dates for exams or assignments needed to know, are given to you!

Not only are these materials great for staying organized visually, but time management is easier to handle! The materials do not do the work for you, and I think that is a big lesson to understand.

From my own experiences and applying these aspects to my life; I can guarantee them to be helpful when used. You have to really want things bad enough to have that drive to be self motivated.

When you take the time to get organized, you’ll find yourself with extra time on your hands… that freedom is satisfying and extremely enjoyable.

Leading into next week: EARLY MORNINGS.

Boss Babe: Goal Setting + Self Motivation

Welcome to My Weekly Journal: Boss Babe!

Each Thursday I will share my experiences in becoming successful & some simple tips, so you too, can be the best boss babe!

Have you ever sat in your bed, or your couch (if you’re lucky to make it out into the living room) and just waste your day watching your favorite flix? Stuffing your face, being lazy, no motivation? Yeah, me too. That all changed for me when I knew that I needed to start building my life.

After a rough sophomore year in college, 2 months before my 20th birthday (May 2019) I decided to take charge with setting some goals. I kept thinking big; wanting to live in Australia, what age I wanted to be to start a family (yeah big big dreams). But, reality hit me, I CANNOT REACH THOSE GOALS UNTIL I CREATE A PATH TO GET THERE.

So here’s where I started: by taking a shower, drinking a giant glass of water, sitting at my kitchen table with a pen and pad.

Here was my list (disclaimer: these were/are my personal goals I set, by no means do they directly line to becoming ‘successful’ however, pay attention to YOUR NEEDS): daily morning walks, reading books, painting, saving $ (for a vacation), eating healthier (smaller potions are key, I tried intermittent fasting on top of exercises), getting closer with my faith, and changing my major (I was in a bad mental state of contemplating dropping out, but there are OPTIONS).

For 2 months I was ‘on a roll’! It was like a star exploding, shattering little glimmers into the galaxy. By my 20th birthday (July 2019) I had; the routine of a healthy lifestyle, waking up early to go on walks, been baptized, had read 4 books and that day I received a job offer in the department that I had switched my major into.

All it takes is tiny plans to mass produce a great life. Day by day, week by week, month by month. Work your way up to those big steps.

Today, (September 2019) I still set those goals for myself: I have a giant calendar in my bedroom with my monthly schedule, I wear professional clothing (not only for my job; my outfits reflect my mood.. look professional, act professional, be professional, that’s the mantra, I also wake up each week day around 5:00AM, making my bed every morning, eating 3 healthy meals with tiny snacks in between, and getting to bed around 10:00PM.

Setting even the tiniest of goals could help you be successful.

My planner is also my entire life, I write just about anything and everything that I’ll have to do in that tiny notebook. It is a solid way to map out things like work, school, social.. WRITE ALL YOUR GOALS.

Mapping out exactly where you want to head in life is a great start; but the best way is to start small then increase your goals to match the reality of your life. In the end, you’ll end up enjoying life so much more. You will learn that with time management and organization *wink, wink* (NEXT WEEKS POST) you can actually find time to ‘relax’ and watch that movie or go out with friends. SET REALISTIC GOALS TO ACHIEVE.

Self motivation is KEY. Inspire yourself, believe in your goals… life has it’s difficulties.. start with making your bed.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed… If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

William H. McRaven

Starting + Keeping a Healthy Lifestyle

July 27 2019

May 12 2019 … I was coming home after my sophomore year of college.. in a depression, failing grades, falling out friendships, and low self esteem.

I wish I could say “fast forward to now” but it’s those in between moments that really build a person. I weighed about 176 lbs and food was my comfort. I ate to keep busy or to distract myself, using going out to eat with friends as an excuse to distance farther from life; this is the reality.

I finally said “enough, I’ve got to change.”

My biggest lesson; physicality only changes with mentality. So if my outlook wasn’t changing neither would my body.

Going into this I knew basics; changing my diet, cardio and simple workouts needed to be done.

I only had myself weighed due to a recent doctors appointment however from then on I relied on progress photos (motivated so much better than a stupid number). I started by changing things up; I was waking up at 5 am to get up and walk for 2 hours each morning. I’ve never been a morning person but I noticed how much more I began to appreciate life; that was my me time.

I changed my diet around no unnecessary sugars (yes, to this day I’m still drinking my iced coffee black) I treat myself every once in awhile but I use portion control. highly recommend using smaller plates as motivation. No going back for seconds and snacks consist of fruits. I don’t necessarily count calories however I do watch and limit what I put in my body.

Feeling empowered, and loving my body so much and my mental health was better than ever (163 lbs by this point)…I started to get lazy (it happens) .. no more waking up, no more getting to sleep by 8:30 pm. My life was like a light switch. But I get we deserve some off time to rest? It’s good for us? However, I was using my “rest” once again as an excuse.

I’ve always fluctuated with my weight whether that was due to lack of motivation or my mindset to just normal changes. I’m so proud of myself and I typically overthink these things, but I slipped up and it’s totally normal!!

If this is your current situation you’re stuck in, your motivation should be; start over! tomorrow is a new day! Don’t over compensate for “lost time”, just get back to that schedule.

I’m by no means a physical trainer or doctor.. I’m an average person trying to stay healthy (on a budget). Use every resource around you. I bought a $7 yoga mat so I could do workouts in the comfort of my own home. I walk my neighborhood!! (no need for that expensive gym membership just for a treadmill !!)

Try and try and try again. Push yourself to limits you thought were never possible. I still am.

“𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚. 𝑰’𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏. 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒆.”

𝑲𝒉𝒍𝒐𝒆 𝑲𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒂𝒏

All About Myself

As a Coastal Carolina University student I originally went in with the focus on marine science, now focusing on ‘journalism’/communications (still planning to incorporate marine science in my writing).

At 21 years old I never thought I’d see the day where I’d publicly put myself out in this big, beautiful world of writing. I’ve always been a private person however, when it came to my writing I felt comfortable enough to share.

From the age of 9 I knew that I always wanted to be a shark biologist this suddenly changed once I realized, that the content was not exactly what I wanted to focus on, and I was losing passion and interest, in the field it’s a different story but break it down and it’s much more complex than it seems at surface level.

I completed 2 years of CCU in the marine science program until I knew I needed to change my major (my best skills are in communication, quick thinking/responding, and writing).

I still have the love of marine science however, knowing I can enter the field by using my strengths gave me so much more hope. My current plan is to graduate with a degree in English, and hopefully work for a non profit.

I previously was an author for the online magazine HerCampus; check out my articles here.

Aside from the research portion; you’ll find my blog will cover lifestyle. (Honestly, using this blog mainly for hobby reasons because I love writing).

happy reading ❤

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